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from the eyes of a time summoner

things going on in my life and how something it's out there...

7/28/12 11:27 pm - Bare with me!!! 2012 hecka werid,wacky and overall crazy~!

Alright i really really haven't been on here in a while, i mean eally not. right now between everything on my account my messages is sitting at "179982" that's submissions,comments,and journals,favortives, and watches combined. X_X i really let this get out of hand, i'm working on becoming more active in the community but as of late i haven't been able to upload a lot of my artwork other then one or two pictues. so now that i'm in a place where i can do a better job of that i plan on uploading three books worthed of sketches and other stuff. hope you all like it. i'm also going to try to revamp my userpage. little by little.

in other news this year has been a wild ride and one i couldn't care much for. as much as i tried to put in it just tons of stuff happened. anywho i'm not going to tabble too much in the past but it all started with some events in the past like being dumped and my younger sister being put in a mental ward in the same week, that next month things got a bit worse i found out about a friend's death from her little girl. well she isn't little anymore. but still.. 3 months late at that. on my older sister's grad night at that... then finally on my mother's b-day i was kicked out. XD yay

2012 kicked off on the best note since my mother's b-day was on the 31st of dec. i was on the bus leaving the state up to another one thinking something awesome was going to unfold well.. i was only half right... in one of my shortest stays ever i was in alabama for only a month and less then three weeks i got kicked because of the main leaseholder/owner of the plot had a problem with me because i wouldn't conform and kneel to the head bitch. XD so with that in mind i was kicked out a week before my birthday and i ended up leaving three days after that. i wasn't sad or mad i thought at the time "the most drama-tastic part of the year was done and over" while yes it was for the most part. there have been alot of things since then that have come up that i compare that whole stay to. and yet that somehow beats everything else. lol

my return to california in three years,things seemed to change in my eyes, i was stronger alittle wiser and bitter then my last time. tho they didn't change me just opened my eyes to the way of the world really, i moved out to the Alameda\Oakland Area part of the bay area, yeah completely out of my happy bubble XD. my stay in california for most of my stay up till the last month and a half. before coming here. shockingly enough that stay while me and my friend did butt heads and well drifted apart. i still care about him to death he's still a friend but yeah... small apartment and two people don't mixed unless they are/were dating for a while. i found tons of new music, i replaced my 360 and well i brought a tablet for myself for missing my b-day, my art, and well to spoil myself at least once because i knew once i got back to florida it wasn't going to happen. lol. sad but true with family..heh.. my family. XD

fast forwarding abit. i got to attend two furcons and i loved them both. one more then the other. this lovely con up in the reno,nv area called "Pawfur" kicked off in the best way ever, the night before the local furs thorugh a nice cookout for everyone local and traveling it was just lovely, we were staying at one of hosts homes and it was just lovely. i plan on going again next year. it was a small con. only 5 bucks for getting in. tho it was only a day con, but what made it better. it was in a awesome casino and it was for a good cause, we started that day alittle fuzzy, further on in the day i was playing a few games before going back and helping my friend on his art flow only to start taking me own. i was shocked and i loved it. i made small amount of cash but i'm overly happy really. dude 35 bucks on my first time doing a convention, that's kick ass seeing as my artwork being kinda mid range stuff. X_X i wish i was better but my prices were really low and showed that i cared about the customer. dubbing my little corner "Corootai's Swinging Art Corner" hehe getting inspired after playing Space Channel 5. having a blast and slowly meeting up with the group i came with and on our way out a local fur revealed himself as one of my favortive furry writers. i squeed... i admit i squeed like a fanboy~girl~fag. i got to meet "Graveyard Greg" my time at my friend's table he was sitting across and i didn't want to hop out of my happy bubble and go "Hi" i'm a tourist :P XD but no i had a blast and i'm happy i found out this way. he gave me a few gifts and it really really ment the world to me. returning back to california with a large ass grind on my face and the rest of my month flew in a blur.

now that second con "Califur" that was alright...it could've gone dramaticly better but meh i can't complain too much. i'd hope it was going to get better but it was kinda meh the small feeling i got from the last con wasn't there and well it was just a number of things wrong with the picture..not to mention forced to spend more then i could afford to... which over all killed me. then the ride back and a unwanted guest crawling their way into our lives at the end of the con. things like that kinda really sours my views on that con. not to mention the conbadge i got that was 50 bucks and came out kinda well... crappy. Y_Y tho i am proud of that second badge i ended up getting for ten bucks, and the speicalty soaps. i plan on breaking opening when i get into my new apartment. but yeah.... two weeks at a friends house before being placed over into another place and having that other person adding into things that kinda really stress things out between the guys at that place. they liked me enough but they were so tried of the other guy there were countless times he became a burden and when called out he played the vitcim. every single time...then what was worse was i was trying my damnest to look out for the guy him just losing another friend and you kinda felt for him but then a moment later he does a few things that's stupid, poping a blunt and a few other things just beyond belief. but meh even me i try to be fair across the board but... this guy... heh this guy claimed that i was talking down to him and treating him like crap. but when i stood up for myself he shut the hell up.. i don't get the guy... i guess that's what killed the relationship. he tried playing nice and it really really didn't work. by the end of the month everyone parted ways, a friend left for texas, another moved back home, the guy i was just refuring too took a two day vacation and turned it into a month state that bleed everyone around him dry. went back to san diego. i don't know where the other main roomate went. and another friend that was in kinda the same spot i was but was at the place longer found a temp place to stay locally... i need to talk to him more on where he poofed to. he said elither florida or canada or something. XD anywho that lease ended and i left two days after. it was quite a trip. XD

Finally. i've made it back in florida i've been back for almost three weeks now. and well it's been rather colorful, before i even got back i had to deal with greyhound giving me the run around after buying a ticket returning home they gave me a rough run around for over three days because i didn't buy the ticket the way they wanted me to. 16 bucks shorter i finally was able to get on the bus after spending a nice day with my best friend up there before heading back three days on the bus took a troll on my body by the time i was back in tampa, i had pain all over my left hip and well it made it hard bending over and moving my belongings. luckly i had one of my friend's waiting for. this guy was cute and pretty hot. his name is horus :P he's a tiger from the area hella strong and he picked my box up and lugged it right to his car. then we were off we dropped it off to my mother's place before heading out to breakfast. it was great. then we worked it off with a small tour of the local malls near my mom's place then after realizing the time. we had to part ways. i really enjoyed myself. mnnn about a week after that i got back in contact with alot of my friends and slowly became more active in seeing them. one was in the hosptial and was recovering and i visited him when i had the chance then again this past week. other then that... that's really all i've been up too.

1/20/12 04:03 am - trying to get back into the grove of things

I'm trying to get back into the groove of things, the past few months have been everywhere for me. being alienated by my family for more then a half of month back in decmeber to the point where i needed a change and took that chance to rely on others i took a friend's offer to move in with them, they lived a single state away, i tried to go for something more with the person..i got it but then things change there were points where we were in a closed relationship,to a simi open to finally a fully open then being up in the air, after the main roomate by the name of jamie basicly lashes out at random times making the very last being the worse, few days ago he snaps on us and tell all the extra roomates that they all need to gtfo by the first. keep in mind i just got here back on the 31st. and yet i'm already fucked luckly i wasn't relaying on this and i already had a number of places to go in case this random bs to happen... Y_Y it sucks but i really liked it here, then each and everytime jamie started something my like for him and this crappy little apartment/double wide country farm area just no. i dealt with it and tried to be friendly but after him announcing i had to leave regardless i put anything in the house no i have to go. and so i'm just going to leave i don't have time for drama... my suppostive boyfriend really a best friend.. yeah that relationship kinda failed once we started trying hard... we talked about it and well it isn't much left so over all we're just remaining close friends.

lovely way to bring in the new year ^_^
here's hoping this year will go in the right direction.

11/2/11 07:11 pm - wow it's been waaaaaay to long

wow it's hard to believe it's really been alittle over a year since i posted stuff about myself in my livejournal. my year has been wild to say the lease... shitty but wild none the less.. i met alot of good people that helped me and i've met alot of the bad... more of the bad... but meh with that aside i had a small vacation from my family and it just basicly reminded me that people are always different in person rather then behind a screen, i say that because you can't hear their voice, know how their feeling via im and other means, i mean i didn't think things would go down as crappy that it did... but it made me all the more wiser and alot of other stuff... i've been through the summer vacation from hell to say the lease and i made it back with maybe half the things i left with.. but it's fine. not to say my month before hand was alot worse due to my mom snapping and becoming old christine again and making things a hell of alot worse.. so less then a month after she did that i left.
i made that choice... not to mention i was being pushed out.. anyhwo being in texas enjoying the first half of everything was nice then around the second to the last if not the last month i start hearing my little sister and her man using my mom and not paying her things were getting out of hand, and basicly she said sorry again and we talked and patch things up, and as soon as i got my check i was gone. i had enough cash to ship my things and my ticket so i left. a month later both remaining members of that apartment was gone.

being in tampa for abit over two months i've relaxed a great deal and i'm working on getting back the things that were lost... it sucks but yeah slowly it's coming around. my money is going up also so i'm gald tho i'm really really pissed that it's taking so long to get back up.. i was suppose to have a extra 200 but.. things didn't work out that way and i got paid the same amount i left texas with.
but later that day i got a letter in the mail saying that it's going to be at lease 600 or more this coming month.. i can only really hope and prey i'm going to call around tomorrow while i'm out to see what's been going on with my funds and why it's taking so long for them to go back to the nomral ammount...gods i miss all my friends in california... i'll be back soon, don't forget about me... lord knows you're all i have left... X_X tampa is pretty much a dead zone for the fandom and if there are furs here elither they can't do anything, to slient or well busy... or the other half being dramafurs... which really really suck and really is un-needed. Y_Y

so yeah that's basicly spring,summer, and now fall. :P
thanks for tuning in again. i'll try to get back in the groove again of posting here...lord knows it's been awhile.

12/5/10 11:36 am - X_X sorry for the delay!

hehe hey everyone sorry about the delay on me updating this page, it's been like this since October. so please bare with me.
things have been werid in the past two months or so. i managed to score the kinect and dance masters and a few other games. so yays on that. but November was filled with stupid drama that had no place anywhere. everything from turkey day to petty things like someone over charging and then using that same money every weekend to get out and have fun. which yeah it was bs but yeah...

December started off with a nice hitch. i had plans to go see someone, someone i was friends with for abit of time and who needed someone there to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. so after days of begging i finally went up there. the first night was lovely we poured our hearts out to one another we had a few heart to heart talks and whatnot then basicly the next morning after the guy goes to work basicly he starts nitpicking about it going into details about alot of things that he didn't like and he randomly ended with him saying "i didn't use you"
now wtf? seriously he claims he hasn't used me but he's sure as well wasted my time and money, yeah i really did feel used because yeah we were connecting and we were getting close. so after all this bs basicly he talked to one of his friends behind my back and paid them to take me home over two days early. now all i can say wtf. my friends that's how i spent my first few winter days dealing with this bs. heheh.. yeah

what's worse is my sister basicly fucked up my pc but i got it to start working again, i find out that basicly that i have to share my bedroom with my little brother because my sister was well stupid about a few things opened her legs a few months back and now she's showing a baby bump and mom isn't letting her stay over to her bf's house. yeah it's getting to the point to where i really need to move out of here. so i suppose if i don't go to fc or anything i'll be saving up to fully move out of this place. so please everyone wish me luck and follow me and lets do this together after all. ^_^

9/20/10 12:11 pm - updates from a dolphie ^_^

it's been over a year since i left seattle, looking at a old light rail day past from the 8th of this month. looking at what i went through with an ex while there. i got through it and i moved on. just like what i'm trying to do now that i'm home. my mom just got some of her test results back there abit of a mixed bag and all it's really telling me is to do my best to help out more. so i'll be working on that and myself. being in this new apartment is pretty awesome tho it's abit cramped i'm working on re doing the room and stuff so i have more room to work with. so give me time.

in other news i went to the furmeet this month and it was pretty good i seen alot of people i've never known where here and i ran into a few faces from my past. that i was intending on leaving it that. the past. with that night coming to an end i get a few texts and calls from friends and while most of them where good and others not so good i managed to filter it all and move on. fast forwarding to around to day. i've been busy this past few weeks with little children at my sister's place of work and even then setting up for a birthday party the next morning and getting most of the kids to behave themselfs was a choir in itself. hehe i was stressed out but i was kinda happy. hehe lol it's hard to explain.
in more random news.
you all remember what happened about 2 months or so? well i thought i was able to move on past it like a grown up and whatnot. well it seems it keeps following me and this is the thrid strike as i got a nasty im from one of the old roomates themselfs, being all fake and really well bs-tastic. at that point i just fully blocked all contact from that person after telling them off. i would post the logs up here but i'm not like that. i'm just sick of this drama. the second one came when my friend kit told me about a local fur that's over one that wants to apparently kick my ass for what i did to them? um what did i do and what does it have to do with you? no. so just means i'll be looking over my shoulder and have something ready for that point in time. the third came from basicly noticing that someone replied under anon. on the journal about me moving out and what happened and basicly in very details.

this is my respond to that. i don't lie about these things i don't try to make myself out to be a victim. if whoever fault who made that post in the first place rather it is wynd or one of those other three guys, or if it's someone new that wynd basicly twisted things around. he's the main user. add up everything he claimed his dad sent him. if you add in his gas money his spending money that he had every month. yeah he spent it on himself. now i'm really getting tired of talking about this shit. people move on i'm done with defending myself. if you have so much time to hate on someone who's been nothing but truthful then you really are lying to yourself and whoever associates with you and i don't have time. so if there are more replys like that i'm just going to delete them and store them for a later date.

8/30/10 01:23 am - 2nd part of august smoothly ending

with that last posting i told you about the worse parts about what all i was going through, well within a week and a half of posting this, i got my check, and well my mom was still being a pain, so i contacted two of my older sisters and they took me to cash my check, get what i needed and talk to me to help me not do anything to crazy, but after talking to them for awhile then agreeing to give it another go if they help me talk to my mother yet again to help her calm down. i agreed on it. over the span of this week i told you all how i lost my bedroom to my younger sister because she was dumb enough to not have her shit in order, well get this. she hasn't been home for over two almost three weeks, my mom finally sighed and gave me back the room but it was the point that i had to fight her for it. so annoying. but well worthed it. so waiting a few days after she told me it was alright, i basicly went out with my sisters and did everything that needed to be done. and when i came home i gave my mother the money but before i did so i talked alot about what she was doing and how she was treating me and some of my sister's kids. and i did get answers to alot of the things, but the major thing was that we needed to be on the same page. with that in mind. my sense of safety and home have been restored to the point where i can stay with her for a little while longer before branching out on my own again.

8/16/10 04:30 pm - o_0 major bleeping update~! XD hold your horses this is big 0_o

you've already heard about what happened in most of june right? it gets better.
for most of that month i'm spending over at my mother's house, already giving wynd about 50 more bucks then i really needed to, basicly i come home. the house is in shambles and basicly no one thought to clean after themselfs, everyone was always on their computers,had the ac on about 65 and wynd. the main lease holder keeping his overly powered big screen tv on. so it slowly ticks me off but nothing really happens, i keep asking for updates from the two freeloaders that we had there. and come to find out they did nothing, and they planned on staying to do nothing. it wasn't until about two and a half to about three days later on the 29th. my sister's birthday i put in my two cents. me paying a large chunk of the rent and whatnot i found out that we had a "436 dollar light bill, what the fuck. were my words, so i go out and i start cleaning up knowing my sister was going to come out and pick me up.

i had planned on spending her birthday with her. us catching a bite to eat and catching a triple feature. that's right. twlight 1~3 were playing on her birthday. the third playing at midnight that night. so i rush to get things in order, and delivn. this bitch shows his ass to me by playing music talking loud over my music as i'm cleaning up. it got to the point where i snapped and i called the main lease holder out, that being wynd. i tried talking to him about figuring out what were we going to do about the two of them. they weren't showing any progess. orginally i was trying to get them to kick that shit in gear,but no. devlin stood up and open his ugly ass mouth" don't talk about us like we're not here" Constantly cutting me off trying to talk to him, before i snapped back "are you a lease holder" it takes him a moment to catch what i was saying"..uhh.. no.." he says. so i snapped back"then back off bitch. i'm trying to talk to the main lease holder, this is between me and him" so tyron, devlin's mate stands up screaming "you wanna know the problem, you're the problem you ugly bitch" and he runs out of the door. i was a mixture between what the hell and that shit was fucking funny. so basicly starts to side with them they all team up against me and when i heard him say"well hon, i don't know i mean they are trying their buying food for the house. and it's the fact that the complains have been coming from both sides.. and sorry hon i'm going to side with them about all of this" basicly

i just chuckled and basicly i left nodding softly and left for my bedrooms, calling a few members of my family crying over the phone to them explaining all of this as i'm telling you. i thought it was a great idea to have the guy i dated at the time to come over but he came over and all my problems felt like they melted away, but forgetting sometime in the morning my sisters were coming over... so that next morning we were woken up by my sisters bamming on my bedroom window, being as loud as ever and they basicly were ready to do some house cleaning. need less to say the freeloaders had more rights then the person paying the bills. with that said and done we fought back and forth and basicly at the end of the day he kept them and i left, i left i took my things and i forced them to break the lease, allowing the lights to stay on while they were there but yeah.

the first of july came and went. i thought i did this great thing leaving these fuckers behind, and whatnot. nope they used my kindness on keeping the power on to basicly bitch and gipe to tons of people that were my friends, feeding them lies and alot of other bogus bull. it first started with the three of them going to kogie, then they went to midekai, they went to rose/shelby, they went to andy, they went to my ex, they went to tons of people. that i knew and some i didn't. so i went to do damnage control at the end of july once internet was restored in my mother's new apartment... yeah you heard it. i moved back in with my mom. things have been great for july and what not,then the 30th came... yeah the start of things to come basicly my check didn't come. come to find out that it was sent back. XD go figured i requested a forward for my mail weeks back but it still went back, so basicly my mom bite into me so much so that it broke me i basicly felt like if she didn't stop rubbing that shit in i would just end it. yeah my mom got me so depressed that in order for her to stop and get the picture of what she was doing, i grabbed a knife, and i slowly went across my arms right along my vains"i know mom thanks for letting me know,anything else i should know" i basicly said and she just left she tried to say sorry but she knew i was in no mood for her. so basicly the first of august comes and my mom shows her ass to me basicly reverting to old Christine. for the first two weeks she overworked me, used me like i was a tool and tossed me to the side, you name it i've been thought it elither in the past or this month. aside from that my younger sister moved in with my mom and basicly in doing so her and my mother hijacked my bedroom she still wants me to pay for. hahah bitch gotta another thing coming. i'm taking both my checks and i'm moving. i've spent this weekend basicly babysitting.. while i don't mind i wish i got more from it. just wish i was paid more.

so basicly while things have cooled down from earlier in the month, that doesn't change the fact that i'm getting the fuck out of here. so i'm plotting and planning my way to my happen ending. with that in mind. i think it's save to say when i'm out of the state of florida i'll be able to close this chapter of this book and move on... i lost so much in just what three months of drama? because i realized that i was being used and i spoke up on it. these guys weren't acting like grown up so they spread useless and needless shit about me. bullcrap. i'm so blissed/ lucky to have great friends, true friends. they came to me. with what wynd,tryon and delvin were saying about me. "i know this isn't true but this is what (one of the three, or all there) were saying about you. i know it isn't true but still what happened"
i explained everything and they basicly laughed and just said "yeah you did right, i would've done the same got damn thing if i were in your shoes" thank you everyone it means alot that i can come to you with this. *bows politely*

6/6/10 05:52 pm - here's a lovely update...five months in the making

this is a lovely update about five months in the making, seeing as the last update was around december,
i got back to the tampa,florida area to a warming and loving welcoming embrace of my family, slowly i began rebuild my life

-January -

january was a speical month for me. not only because of my birthday was in this month but one of the first real and true months i was home. or what felt like home and what felt right
the first two weeks were easy, the third week was basicly me saving a close friend/pet's neck, he was getting kicked out and basicly he needed somewhere to go. i got him the ticket to this state and to his pets, but basicly it kinda went bad.. he tried dating jumping in way to soon, and with the heart break i went through with my at the time boyfriend, alexel...i realized that it was my fault for calling it quits but it's mostly because i didn't/couldn't live with myself if i made false promises of if and when i would be back, the hoildays spent alone or those speical days that we would have... just wouldn't work so basicly i made the choice that we should go our own ways, killing the relastionship to save both of our hearts the slow small lets downs as they been.. moving on i met tons of lovely people and whatnot then by the forth week i wanted to screen spending some of the end of the thrid week with that close friend and my ex and a few other people was just really stressful but no worries...till the week of my birthday came around.. so basicly i was being pressured to move down to them and i basicly made it clear that wasn't going to happen i have too much stuff to take care of... then basicly the day before my birthday they showed up on my doorsteps when i kept inststing that i can't do it and whatnot and basicly it wasn't good enough for the main person wanting me to move with him and whatnot so basicly i spent about two days with me... and that was really it. i wanted to scream. finally to get him off my case and to drop the subject i desided to take the offer, that was the major mistake right now. basicly he used peer pressure on me to get me to be his roomate. it was bullcrap and it was annoying that was the end of that month and the start of the next month proved to be just ass annoying

-Feburary -
basicly the month started me being dragged into four different people's living troubles, and they knew that i was only trying to help one person and it turned into four people which was bullcrap and everytime from that point on i was just bitching up a store, so we basicly got the apartments that my uncle lived in. so basicly the first month was rather annoying because everyone didn't want to do one or two things, giving poor ass exsues, basicly forcing me to have the lights in my name. with that said and done. we were stuck with a 270 buck deposit on the lights, so go figure.

basicly this month i basicly got little less then nomral and my roomates didn't care so i basicly did everything that was needed we bout'ed and basicly this was the start of my weekly visits to my mother, she losted a school friend that she was close to suddenly and basicly i was over her place for three or four days but being about 250 bucks short on my grant check for no reason and what not was overly annoying so basicly they took every cent i had.

this month was abit better only been short a good 150 bucks i had a little bit of spending money, but spending most of my time with my mother and family members tho being stucked at that house hold really made me screen, because i really was unhappy people that heard my story on how i was they sprung into action and basicly caused abit of shit to happen, and basicly i had the chance what i needed to get out... saddly that didn't really happen mostly becauase when it came to getting the police invoided to get me out and off the lease i didn't have the right backup and it was really bullshit. after that was said and done it, the month passed by so fast.

may was one of the annoying months for me because my grant check didn't arrive till the end of the month,come to find out that it was the wrong address and it's the fact i had to go through hell getting everything in order, my roomates weren't being supportive at all,with the drama at my place my old roomates kogie and his at the time mate basicly paid my roomate wynd 500 bucks as their part of the rent, and basicly still wanted my 400 bucks for rent at the end of the month basicly using it to get his new car.doing that he still tries to charge me and family members that he gives me ride to money for gas when i could get a ride from someone else who would do that job for much cheaper and much faster, on top of that i lost my phone around the 11th of the month and was stuck using other people's phone and things to contact friends and family,the first case was when my nefew needed to go under the knife in the er because of a infection in his thraot, he still wanted me and my family pay him abit of cash, so i did. but still i needed to be there so basicly i stayed over there for about 4 or 5 days then basicly a week later because of my roomate my mom had a close call that was like a heart attack/hurneia, my mother called for about two days in a row trying to get ahold of me and this fucker forgets his phone in his car, giving me a rude awakening one afternoon. so basicly i've been over over into the new month

this month. hasn't really ended but basicly it started with my mom needing help and tons of rest it's going on the second of the week of the month and i'm not really getting back to my own place till monday or so. things have someone gotten better not really basicly the first was when i got my money for myself and whatnot. basicly i had bills i had to take care of and a few other things to take care of. my fucking roomate was trying to take 100 extra bucks out of rent and fuck me over, he didn't realize i had to pay the bill and whatnot and basicly i gave him 50 bucks more on my rent then what i needed to do. cause basicly i was home last month maybe 2 weeks and all the rise in the bills weren't my fault and i still had to pay for the mistake, plus the end of the las month i helped two of my friends with their housing problems basicly what happen was basicly they were getting kicked out, anywho offered them a place at my place till their on their feet, getting to know them in person tend to show me i kinda see why they weren't getting much help, they acted like they didn't appeatiate someone else's kindness and was thankful. till i left for my mom, there alot better but they've both hit strike one with me. so no worries we'll see if there truely worthy of this help i'm trying to do.

with that thats my large large update, basicly i'll be posting on here more often. promise. i wish the best to everyone and whatnot please have a great time, till next time

1/11/10 09:22 pm - A Friendly update

i'm pretty sure by now a nice amount of people have seen that last post. now time for some good news, don't you think

the major suckages that was known as fucking decmber is now over, basicly what happened was i went to nab my flight only to find out the ticking counter was taking far to long, people if your going to fly out of San Jose internation, please spare yourself the trouble.. basicly i had to catch the next flight that morning. gald i caught it. there waiting on me in florida about six or seven hours later was my mom, little brother, and my older sister with her oldest kid.
i nearly burst into tears as i slowly went down the elsulators to find that someone really cared.

seeing my little brother nearly double in size really took a bit to set in. not the small fry i left and always thought he was.my sister's kid was overly cute and overly happy to see me as she was the first to rush over and damn near tackle me to the ground. never thought i would be so happy to get slamed to the ground but in this case i guess i made room for it.

after being taken off my feet, we ride in my sister's fairly mantain Suv, i say fairly only because it had needed a few things done before i can call it spacish. anywho going on. the shock of the night was maria was having me over for dinner in honor of me returning home after three years. for once it did feel right. everything about this city changed. i felt like the new kid to a brand new school/city and abit more. but i would say it's for the better because the effect of being home after a long time is just... breathtaking

old friends new friends. i've gained so much and it's really a blessing. i got to see my anutie. she made her overly awesome red valvt cake. lol sorry about my bad bad spelling

it took some time for my things to get here. but with so much going on like seeing alot of family i really didn't have time to worry about my pc, 360 or even my ps2. lol

skipping forward to my mom's birthday (dec. 31)
i had a blast over at my sister's place tho she brought me over hours early to help clean... all i can say was "wtf...feed me..feed me" XD x-mas wasn't good for me but at the very lease i had enough gifts to make myself feel better and improve my out look on things. so it wasn't so much of a loss really?

hmm that's really a big update from the time i left to about two weeks ago.

other then that. most of january has been sent to get my pet kogie down to sarasota to make sure he's in a better housing spot. he's staying with his friends and things are looking promising for him and i'm glad to hear it. ^_^

i got back yesterday from having a week long visit to see the poor boy, i only say that teasingly but he was pretty if not overly lonely tho he was getting used to a new house so that's why msotly. ^_^

please keep it here as within a few days i give out my wishlist for my birthday this year. XD

11/15/09 08:40 am - wanna know something...?

i thought things were starting to look up after the local fur party i went to.... oh no homo.. that was not the case. my week has been hell in every sense of the word from roomates talking behind my back to the point where i could guess along with them to the point i would be right half the time. to where i'm told by the guys, steele,shadow, and yote or will, or what ever the hell his name is. that.. basicly they didn't get a 5 bedroom they only got a 4 bedroom. there's no room but hey there's not all bad news. we're gonna still give you time to figure out what to do. and we'll back you no matter what, your a great person and a good roomate. T_T said the jerk who i never knew and only till now said something to me and always bitched to my roomates about stuff stuff... i hope everyone on baf sees this and see what it's making me have to do. i hope they all see what all of you are for what you really are. i want them to be driven out of the fandom...

basicly i... i have till the 13th of next month to have something to do. so i've been looking everywhere for a place, even before they told me this cause i had a feeling.. a voice spoke to me in the back of my head saying look for something just in case something like this happens. and what happens less then a day later.

what worse is i've been looking none stop for another place and to no avil.. so guess what i have to do. *insert cheesey dramatic music* i have to move back to florida and stay with my mother. it's the cheapest and saddly the best choice to do at this point. it's going to be tough but i'm blissed to have been around the norcal and the bellfurs and even the seattle furs. thanks so much for welcoming me. i hope we see each other in the future.

i'm planing to stay with my mother for about three months. if i need more time i'll boost it up to six months. anything more people worry. XD i mean really.

with this choice my only thing is should i fly or should just take the bus. please people give me choices
if your along the southern like texas, new mexico message me on my ims and i'll see about taking abit time to stop by. i'll need it as i won't be really active too much in the fandom... maybe depends if i have a ride or not. thank you all and laters

11/9/09 03:56 pm - Just for shits and giggles

alright i think i've put this off for way to long. as you all can tell it's been ages since my last post. so putting all of that in a nutshell.

shit happened and i fell out with people that were in texas, i moved. moved back to sf bay area, stayed with boy friend for a few weeks, nabbed a place. then... well hehe let's just say great place, great price but because of a bible thumper lost it because apparently having sex and the tv kept her awake.... yeah um no... see i was having sex that night. so i got yelled at by alot of people and then i was like fuck it. i tried looking for another place, tried relaying on other people so we could rent a apartment together, but guess what!!! hahah it didn't work.*looks to the carpet shark who was suppose to do his part* i looked for another month before giving up taking another friend offer, i left,i went to seattle

meet alot of awesome people, but it didn't change the fact that was the worse time i've ever had in my life. basicly i covered everything, i was put in the hole about 3000 bucks beause i had to pawn alot of stuff along side of using my grant money on housing rather then going to school..... so yeah.. early septmber i left i couldn't take being lied to anymore, being used. so getting everything i pretty much owned and just left. i was already in talks with a close friend to let me rent from him.

so that's basicly the past six months or so

here's a small update of staying with my friend. mnn he's a great guy but him and his mate focus on the small things abit much. if i'm doing something small like making a glass of tea, or a nice lovely batch of mac and cheese, they'll get on my case for no reason really. it's not abit deal till it happeneds at lease three times a day. or when you go out of your way to help someone free of charge knowing you can't do a single lick of yardwork they still have the nerves to complain as if they paid you 300 bucks for a first rate kinda thing. then ack like "hey i'm no slave driver" T_T nomrally i chuckle at these remarks but it's the fact of the matter his timing was overly bad because moments earlier he was complaining about something yet again, rather small. so i answered him"hehe... if i didn't want to help i would've been home when you needed me, anywho i need a break"

mmnn side from the small bits of drama nothing much has been going on in the household if you can call it that. i stayed in my room and out of the way when arugements between my roomate and his mate tend to appear, it was kinda bad i think he fought with someone else cause apparently a few weeks back they took it outside and was yelling their lungs out before leaving <_< not my busseness but it's something i have to worry about be cause it's my safety at stake a side from that on a happy notice i'm going part time to school. yeah i know i kept saying "full time full time" but listen, i'm going part time online and part time offline. meaning full time. so basicly is 2-3 classes offline and 2 on. or something XD. but most of the other classes i wanted to take were filled so what's a fag to do? anywho now!!! your up to date. please expect to see a update at lease once or twice a week depending on what's going on. thanks everyone

10/8/08 10:36 am - New month, Another chapter... i guess

drama seems to keep happen everywhere i go, it mess up friendships,nearly ending them and when you think you can take it anymore... someone pulls you back up and talk to you with a clam head,and the problem is sovled.

for me that seems to keep happening here in texas,over the past few weeks, maybe a month or so hell maybe more since i last replyed on here. tons of stuff happened that left me elither at the point of wanting to just drop it all and leave, or near that point...

so whenever i feel like that i take a step back and walk around the city, that way i see both side, the good and bad. i really can't leave now i'm in school, and i'm helping around the house. but since my friend moved in with me he has taken over that part. so i'm like alright if you want saves me a few nosebleed XD.

hehe so yeah, my family finally wants to me to come back to florida to visit them. while i want to i just don't know how my cash will be. hehe same goes for my friends in norcal. i totally want to be there for fc but i don't know if i'll have my bus/plane ticket, and the fee for the hotel and fc. heheh see my point.

8/5/08 02:36 am - Bust or not? you tell me

looking back about three months or so when i first made it to texas. i noticed how things were sudden was looking up. i let my gaurd down and therfore i let two people in my life after i stayed with them use me.figuring we were all going to be roomates and it all was going to be good. i didn't see the harm in it. i broke free of that after one day it all made clam to me.i was so thankful that i was said i looked for a place, one was a wolf and the other was a fox. i thought i could depend on them but it really wasn't the case they tried to trick me into thinking everyone was being kicked out and we all needed to leave. playing along i called my contacts to see if i can get some funds to help cover myself in a friends place.with all the time that has past i seen the three freeloaders that were in this house leave, i've seen fights break out because things they said behind my back that came to surface when their friends asked me about this stuff.we even went on a hunt for the missing coins X_X feel but hot as hell. some of the time has been a drag but most of the time i'm having a blast.

with that in mind i got myself and them to the dallas area. i didn't know many furs at the time. but it soon started to change as i began getting more out going with friends like the ones i have i'm glad i get to hang out every weekend with them.

after seeing a few movies i feel like i want to go back to two places from my past. 1 being San Jose,ca. i miss my friends from there. i feel like we were like brothers *smiles* the second.... well... i'm still coming to terms with... see i was disowned rather you realize it or not. but over the past few months i have talked to my mother and my sister... it sucks to say i miss them? i miss my younger brother's and sister's and one older sister. that's the truth. but it was the fact of the matter because the rest of my close family didn't defend me.. i felt as if i couldn't stay anylonger.. i choose not to be a tool... that all i was to them so i left. i want to go back to Tampa to show them that i'm a failure, that i won't lay and die like they kept saying that night. no hehe i'm making sure they see for themselfs that i'm happy, i'm full of life and i'm willing to go on with my life. if they can take there eyes out of their tv's and what not. my goal is to visit my family before fc rolls back around. i know then i'll be able to spend more time with my friends cause it's around my birthday.

5/2/08 12:13 am - nice long while lets get you caught up shall we?

Hey all sorry for not posting. but boy do i have much to tell you

- Mid to Late January -
I found out i was losing my place in sacramento, i was totally bum,the night of the 18th, me and midekai began to pack my things into his car before making our trip back down to san jose, it was a fair wonderful ride with us talking and such, i had fun... but at the same time i was completely bummed i wasn't going to see the sacfurs again for a while. Fc 08' started right after that. we figured i would be staying with them at the hotel and it would be great right? well your mostly right but on my birthday was maybe the worse. seeing as i had to walk home late that night from the con. hehe see i turned down a ride (stupid me) from midekai when he was heading out, well i didn't know things wouldn't turn out the way i planed so i need up walking back to his place. nice walk alittle creepy but still hehe so happy 21st birthday to me while rad moose promised to get me the money for my part of rent as soon as he can, i didn't mind nor rush him.

- Febeuary -
we got to play tons of games and enjoy ourselfs, the responces for housing were fairly slow and was pretty damn annoying.... saddly going on. i told a friend what was going on as it happened he pretty much loss his job, while anywho me on my end i was getting my friend in trouble not like i ment to or anything.. it was just blah, rad was still working on getting me that check when something happened, when he finally had it they tired to place it into the account and it got placed into the wrong account, it went into the checking when it needed to go into savings, so that delayed me another month more or less... things were lookng bad, with turning anywhere i could for a place to stay i desided to take a friends offer, now i didn't have the money to pay for the ticket, with the month coming to the close we went to a few fur partys in san fran (awesome) a few things happened on the second one but yeah.. we all felt it, words were said that wasn't ment to come out and well we kinda drift from one another for that few sets of days after a week gone by i noticed a small change in one of my friend.. .and i didn't know what happened so i asked him about it and the responce really hurt me. getting past that i finally sigh and when he came over all three of us had a talk and cuddled in such.

- March -
march came with up opening ourselfs to what had to happened... i had to leave. i didn't want to but i had to go.feeling really bummed about this we spend the last we days if not week together trying to make the best of it, clibariting my birthday and his from last year. spending cash and such on IIDX 15 DJ troopers, but yeah... then finally that day came... i had a flight. and i had to go early that morning. that whole entire day went on to where i would feel uneasy as i rode that plane across the country, to finally when i got there i got to see snow in real life (yay) hehe i had my new roomates pick me up. we went out a few times the first week there was really neat i had alot of things that was neat but at the same time my roomates would act out from time to time, but i brushed it off, but when it started getting to me would've been at near the end of the month more or less we were all going to gameworks and i was looking so forward to playing my games and stuff. but because one of the roomates couldn't deside where to eat he had a little kid's fit it went on to him getting out of the car and walking off and such... just little kids stuff. i'm like dude? so what there is a rally(checkers) right there there is a subway right over there....that was when i just started not caring any more... i got so hurt from this outting i just went to my room i was really depressed i just said if they can't do anything for me then i guess i should lower my explation the month ended with a few other auguments and such before i just tried to get out of the way best i can i stayed downstairs away from them.

- April -
still feeling hurt for what they did i just tried my best to cope and move on when i did a few things happened then one day they something i was caught off guard for ...they throw me a part with cards and all they gave me two books a game a really sweet cake so i forgave them. but then a week alater a huge fight broke out and it really hurt to see them act the way they did. about three days later another fight happened and it was so big one of the roomates wanted to move out and pretty much made it seem like he was through a rather fit. it effected me so much cause i had to play peacekeeper running back and forth making sure that they both feel better from the others words, only to have more things happen and they yell back and forth at eacher... i thought to myself. if he leaves how would they treat me. i remember him always telling me he was sorry for bring me into this mess. yes i tuffed out those things for a friend. i was happy for abit but then the worry got to me and i desided i couldn't take that chance, later that month i told them what i thought... giving my 2 week notice that i would be moving out on the first and the latest being the 3rd of may, i didn't get that chance raven made a fool out of herself having a rather rather bitch fit. i could understand it but at the same time it was like no. only to find out about two days later they asked me to leave. i had my aunt on the phone telling me not to go but i truly didn't have a choice. because of that fat bitch. yeah saddly it's gotten to that point where i have to call her that to keep myself from screaming out wanting to do something extremely bad. reason why i called her that was the way she was treating it. the bitch kicked me out two days after i gave my notice. i still paid my rent and everything no. that shouldn't have happened. she had someone else do her dirty work she had a roomate i was pretty cool with come and tell me all of this. i should've thought of something when they asked for the spar. but no i didn't think nothing of it.
pretty much going on. as i was packing up after pulled this she was standing at the stairs kinda laughing about it and everything saying "i had to make a choice it was elither having someone that was going to be here next month or someone that wasn't. i had to choose. brute wouldn't come out of his room in fear he would run into you while my hubby is pacing around." i was really annoyed and tried my hardest not to hurt her. cause lord knows i would've punched a bitch. then that wasn't the worse. as i got my things out she came down stairs trying to rub facts i already know, and already planed and dealt with on me and i was like get out of my face bitch you don't want me to hurt you. she was giggling about it i even told her that please get away not isn't the time.luckly i had a few friends to help me out. one already planed on getting a place with and another from california that helped me out so so much to get away from there.can you believe that fat bitch called a cab ahead of time to get me out. and i was like wtf? not only that she kept saying because i didn't have proof that i paid rent the lawyor was going to be on her side. then i told her i would willingly call the cops then the bitch counter against that. i'm i wanted to kill the whole damn household... so going on after i got the money from that same friend that paid for my ticket to waco for the cab i willingly left. the ride to the greyhound station was a long and rather annoying one being that after i got there i had to move all my things on my own not getting anyhelp from a soul then what made it worse was i had to freaking wait on my money to pay for the ticket with. i got there at 11:20pm. they had me wait till about 7:20am when the bus i needed was loading.. .talk about pissed. i wanted to scream they held the bus cause they knew i needed it. finally after getting on that bus i tried my hardest to relax and indeed i did till about halfway on the trip when someone brought beer in a juice bottle on the bus and that shit spilled wasting all over me and a few other people with window seats. talk about pissed. then funny thing when i finally got to waco, my roomate forgot to pick me up. i had to bug my friend to im him to get him up and over here. about two hours later he finally makes it i felt relieved for once throughout the ordeal. pretty much from then on things looked up because we got off our asses that first day right when i got off the bus and looked for places, then on the second day we found our idea place. we appled for it and such. now all that was left was to return them and give the money and the depoit. from then on we relaxed and enjoyed ourselfs, mnn about a week into it the roomate i'm staying with told me he couldn't be as close as we were and it kinda hurt seeing as he was the only person i knew in texas other then this other person who is rarly on. yeah i did feel down about it. i picked myself up and acted as if nothing happen anywho we went to a game store and yay i got to play ddr for the first time in like four to five months :p finally. anywho that was about less then a week ago seeing as i got here on the 21st of this month

- may -
pretty much started yesterday and everything hasn't change much but yeah i'm making a effort to meet the local furs and whatnot. so guys look forward to a another update

1/5/08 12:07 pm - Birthday wishlist - 1/29

hiya all guess what. My Birthday is this month... well at the end of it... lol a day after FC

anywho i've been doing tons of free artwork and have loved every minute of it. but i wanted to know just for this day. can others awesome and draw me something!

it can be anything from a drawing of corootai to items
i even take porn if your willing to draw it. any character will do. but it'll be nice to see my character done by another artist. i'm a huge fan of the Bemani series it'll be awesome to see coroo dancing and whatnot. or try airboarding with my favortive stage from the upcoming game. hehe if you wanna give me a heads up or keep it totally to youself till the day comes :p

item wishlist

Virtua Fighter 5 (360)
DDR Universe 2 Bundle (360)
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity (Ps2)

and above anything else *bows*
thank you. you really didn't have to read this. but you did...thanks it means alot to know that someone cares.

these are the things i'm kinda hoping for hehehe. Birthday wishlist - 1/29

1/5/08 11:41 am - chrismas,belated new year and earlier.

hey everyone. happy belated new year and stuff.

it's been a while since i posted in here so i'll catch you up to speed.my time in sacramento is going well. but at the same time i'm having throughts of going away... i don't want to but it's the fact it's taking such a bite out of my pocket that i'm spending money,food money in such is very little more or less. so yeah.. i can't bring myself to tell my roomate that it's a chance that i may move..after all he helped so much getting into a place and whatnot.

i'm just worried if i do it'll mess him up.. and i can't do that to him.
i'm roughing out what i can. i've been getting offers from old friends and fur firends all the time to come down or something along those lines. i just don't wanna seem as if i'm messing someone else up that's having just as a hard time. but yeah....

chrismas well that was pretty neat. i got to go skydiving and a small shoping spree

now while all these were awesome and good. i didn't need the emotional baggage my good friend passlion placed on me at the time. i know he may not have ment to. but still..he would talk about the past and those really bad memories would begin to hit me over and over. and i broke down... it got to the point where i wanted to walk myself back to sacramento.funny thing was the thing that lead up to this was him wanting to cuddle... i didn't want to cuddle with him cause looking back in the past at how he would breakdown from it... then he went on about the past.. that's the reason why i wanted to leave.. but no i didn't... i stayed for him. i stayed because that would look good.
it almost happened again but he gave a speach that kinda sounded like he planed for it to happen. i was kinda effected the same. i was like what... i had to take two about what he was talking about how "we wanted us to grow,teach, and lean from each other" i was like.. but i don't think that even now will work. i knew where he was coming from but i didn't stop him from making his point. but hehe yeah that's my christmas.

new years. i was looking forward to being with friends. but that didn't really happen from the lack of having a ride i couldn't make it to and cool partys aww well i lease i was playing portal. :p

so yeah that's me lately

all these feeling really came from no where but my worse time up here was this storm that going on as we speak the worse was yesterday and there's another coming this afternoon and what not. pretty much i'm stuck sitting through this storm till like later next week.

8/29/07 02:44 am - alot of bs keeps happening to me

mnn early this month pretty much i want to scream louder then ever.... not only did i have to leave nor cal but it's the fact of the matter that most of the people who i left for really wasn't worth it. to sum it up in the az area. i left to be with a family friend who said they'll help me... they flaked... the person i was going to do.. his mother called the cops on me... the feeling of being lied to is really hurtful. good thing i didn't know at the time he was 17 cause i wasn't told that.. but still... with all those things to deal with i took everything out of my savings and checking account to get myself to san diego, their i had a few more friends help me out. i'm really thankful to them..kips, sam all those guys really helped out...lonely did also..but it's the fact of the matter were dating.. and i just wished he showed me more attention and stuff... but in the end that's how he lost me. i really haven't told him yet but yeah. i'm gonna tell him elither tomorrow night or abit later, moving on.

then a few weeks back when i finally made it back to san jose i was so glad.. but it shortly lived seeing as we left for this covention with this group midekai works with. the ride on it's one to salt lake city was 15 hours, with that in mind we still had to deal with the co workers and the higher ups, it just got very anoyying to me. once we were there we ended up having to wake up two to three hours early just for a annoying meeting not only that it was the fact of the matter that everyone there other then a few other guys were really cool... all in all it got so bad there that it made me and midekai debate on going to the greyhound station and getting a ride back, so all in all i head an so so time. i learned alot of things for the classes themselfs but from the other higher up and stuff i just thought they could do better.

well that was like two to three days ago. so anywho finally things has began getting back to normal.. when we seen our friend v-mon get back. well guess what. we went to golfland, then the local college to see if we could sign up. on the way leaving we gotten into a car acddient seeing the fact we rear ended a suv... alot of stuff hsppened... on top of that i lost the place were i was staying because of it.. not only that someone i was planing on moving with lost theirs... so it's kinda in the air rather or not i can go with them.. or have them move much closer so we wouldn't have to travel much.

anyways that's been the over view of this whole freaken month, enjoy everyone

6/27/07 10:39 am - today i wanted to pull out all of my hair....

today started out ok... but it's the fact of the matter the thing that made things go downhill was the fact that i was talking with passlion.. anywho we talked about the past and how he thought i wasn't trying hard enough... and that i should forget about the past more or less.. i wanted to scream...hehe it got to the point were i barfed... i mean it was really bad... going on i'm trying to relax i came clean with most of my feeling like how i wasn't going to try again but i had to take a long think about it and so i had to give him another chance.. but it's the fact of the matter it doesn't feel right i get sick too much dealing with him.. i couldn't breath my chest tends to tighten... nothing good so i told him i rather have us be friends.. so he broke down and start crying.. i did what i could to help him out but in the end it just made me want to scream cause no matter how i wanted to be heard... he doesn't get the picture >.<

i may have to scream it out at one point... he's like i don't want it going in a loop like it did before... at that point i wanted to say.. just stop thinking of the bad things.. know what ... i shouldn't have said i was ready to try again.. its the fact of the matter you're too close.. and it's like with acting out.. how it made me feel no.. but you know what.. i didn't cause he needed help on getting better... i wanted to tell him.. that in life... we always can't have the dreams we want.. no matter how much we dream them.. and that we'll always end up hurtting ourselfs if we open ourselfs to something like that... and that it's not worth it if we please everyone.. we'll end up being unhappy with ourselfs...

i know most likely he's going to read this.. i know most likely it's going to hurt him more.. and i'm sorry but in the end...

6/5/07 06:05 am - doing the best i can.

well with less then a week left from leaving i've been thinking of a few things. i've been looking around wanting to meet new people to set myself up to have my own group of friends other then passlion and midekai. all in all it's going pretty well but at lease two of my friends kept telling me that i need to slow things down. i agreed with them. i already slowed things down mnn all in all hehe yeah..i'm doing so so.. i ended up breaking up with chazz.. things seemed to go down hill.. it kinda made me feel like a less of a person.. but i don't blame chazz.. i'm sure he didn't make things seem bad.. but all in all i'm just sick of being hurt..more or less.. i'm wishing that things get so much better when i go up there. i head out this saturday.. anywho i'm gonna work on myself before trying even think of getting a new mate. i'm sorry but it's just i've been hurt too much.. hehe and it seems like no one cares for this dolphie. but it's fine. hehe i'm just not really for it i guess.. fate must have something out and planed..hehe one can only be hopeful.

5/15/07 12:53 pm - breaking it to my family

all in all i have done all i can but there is still one thing that i have yet to do, cause i know for a fact they'll try talking me out of it. but with a deal like this you better believe i'm taking right, going on.. it's for me to be happy my family all in all would use one another, i guess i'll tell them when i give my ps2 to my little brother, i know he'll be happy about that. i'll make sure we'll keep it in touch i guess eheh all in all everything is set all i need to do is play my plan out before i know it i'll be living happily in nor california.

5/12/07 10:13 am - landing on my feet afterwards

after seeing the choices i had out of me i made a nice little twist to myself, rather staying down here in florida with family and even friends that tends to bring drama with them,note i'm not calling you out but! i'm sick of it... and if i have to take myself out of you all's life i will do so but not how you're thinking, i desided to move out of florida to northern california.

yeah you heard me i'm taking my gay ass to an area of the world that i don't get talked about for the way i talk or act... does that even matter? hehe... i guess it does to the people of the south... i will say this.. i will miss the friends i leave behind.. but in the end i have to be strong for myself...cause if i don't then who will??

4/19/07 06:34 pm - i seen this coming but why does this seem to hurt?

more or less because i wanted to help someone and wanted to feel abit more free i'm losing the place i'm staying. it's fine seeing the fact i seen this coming since fc.... funny... looking back now.. now i know why i seem so spacey when i should've been having fun..

going on getting annoyed with the whole roomate things how i helped out my so called friend seeing he didn't defend me after all that shit that happened how i was the only one who was willing to help but no. i don't care right now.. i planed this ahead i'm gonna land fine from this.i already planed on leaving over to my sister's place.

among things after this blows over i gonna work on making my own life better i found a progam that starts me where i left off before leaving for califonia and with that i could get on with my life. also i do intend on doing a few things so heh no worries..

3/10/07 08:11 am - getting out for abit

finally i've had abit of time on my hands to get out of my damn house. hehe their cool and all but i really dislike staying inside for like a while. but they know how i feel. the only reason i haven't gone anywhere was the fact with me having no cash what so ever on me.mnn me myself i wanted to go to beach gameland it's a rather small arcade but it has the cheapest ddr supernova for like 30 miles lol. anywho plus it also has the second closest beatmania game to me. the closest is at tampa lanes.

so lol so right now i've been spending time with some friends i'm over here in lutz right now. i plan on heading back home like today

2/22/07 03:35 am - it's been a good while?

don't you guys think so? anywho sorry i haven't updated in a while. here's a nice minute to catch you guys up. vanlintes day, all in all it went very nice. went out to eat i hanged out and went to the movies and then it had to end around 9pm that's when i left.before that one of my bestest friends...well i don't know if we're that close to call him that anymore... i would just say my friend for now. he's like a brother.. but at times he could be rather... what's the word... difficult.

i got over how he treated my disabled little brother.. it got me so mad i wanted to hurt him.. but at the same time. i stopped myself and pulled him back. going on. this year started out ok we got to hang out with one another.. then he wanted to come back to tampa. and i was like that's awesome. but then he wanted to get a apartment with me.

i thought it would be cool. what i didn't see well rather i didn't add up everything.but when i did i had to say no. cause within the first 3 months we would lose the place.. and i wouldn't want to turn and elither go back to my mom.. that .. or stay on anyone.. i don't want to be that kind of burden. so when i finally got back to town i talked to kc about the space i had and if it was anything he and everyone else could do to help me. they did last weekend.

i have this huge ass room and i'm happy for it. i'm gonna sign the lease to be added. i pay my share of things and such.anywho a day or so later my friend told me that his parents wanted him out this firday. and i'm like ah.. carp.. and so i offer for him to stay here. i don't have any problems with it cause i know he would do the same for me. well so far things are kinda rocky. things are good at times.

i'm happy he's here and all. but at other times i would see why we wouldn't see each maybe once or twice a week. he tend to have a habit to.. well be an ass to one of the main person who is trying to help him. i mean he shots down what style of drawing,my games and system choices, and it sometimes get to him. i would want to yell "Fuck off will you, i mean dude i'm trying to help you but you're doing this to me. damn be nicer" is that so much to ask for".. with that said. i plan on talking with him about a few things when i have the chance and when i'm in a good mood.. i don't want this to blow up in my face... that'll happen if i'm pissed off at the moment... my bitch side will come out and i wouldn't want to hurt anyone now would i? i mean he something becomes a bit of an ass on the smallest of things. sure the ps3 sucks and all. but damn stop acting like the wii can sure cancer. i'm not trying to be mean or anything cause my man's mother is dieing of that. do knock on wood. i really didn't mean to hurt anyone. but it seems that if i don't anything like this or become a bitch every now and then. nothing will change.. am i wrong?

so to push away my anger at the world and how i feel i somethings get the short end of the stick i began to play stepmania. while he was playing sonic and the secret rings. sure a good game. i just don't like people or furs trying to tell me what to do. i'll listen but if i'm not in the mood i would just tell them not now. and my friend over there is the kind of person to keep annoying you till you listen. i hope this was the right choice helping him out.... i believe it is.. even at the cost of my own happyness and time along where i can regain sanity from my room mates

1/29/07 11:24 pm - My Birthday this year.

by fair i can say that this year was a hell of a lot better then the last two years. i'm finally 20 years old. i'm really happy hehe. anywho early tommorrow morning i will be on a plane to get back to tampa and will be back later that afternoon. around 5pm i guess. i'll tell you have it was when i'm back. see ya for now.

1/27/07 12:05 pm - Past and present.

looking how at everything has gone thought my past and what things await me.
what some people don't get. is the fact that if i'm already with someone that i really miss and i do something like say. be with my ex and talk and even play with him. more or less. i do these things i guess to fill the hole he left. when we're not near each other. these are the things i lack to tell midekai or passlion. but going. i could have talked to them i know but i'm like what's the use. passlion is still trying to get me back in love with him. what he lacks to see is the fact that i'm still in a relationship. so with him being so close. had an effect on me. i became distant because i felt like shit for what i did. i felt like i betrayed chazz and such. i'm not trying mess up this good relationship i what with him. all i can be for passlion is a friend.there was a time where i still loved him. but it kinda went down to friendship. that's the best way i could put it. but still it's better then me saying "hey know what" shoots bird and walks away letting that be the end of us talking in such.

so yeah how i look at it i have to put my love first before my friend ship. nothing more nothing less. passlion is my past.. i can't get over of but he's known me well enough so that way it'll be good to have him as my friend. chazz is my present. sure he's going though his own sets of problems but still who doesn't. i was torn because i was given all this cool stuff from passlion.it's like he was trying something. but i didn't mind it i said thank you. but why did he buy me all that stuff. i feel like i want to hide somewhere after i post this

odds are passy will be reading this... so all i can say is sorry but it's true i wrote this. no only that but i'm sorry about what i wrote on those days. i did it to make you feel better not only that but you too what i ment wrong when i said it looks like we'll be back together i ment our time at fc not what you were thinking.

1/22/07 01:59 am - my time at fc

my time at fc has been rather better then i plan. i had fun more times then i feel felt down.alot of artists liked my work so i'm really happy about that. hehe anywho the only down part about my time. my time with passlion was ok i mean it wasn't bad at all it's just.... (passlion was to close to me.. i wanted a best friend not a lion actting like a dog following me closely) i talked to him later during the con.. it got him rather down and all he kept saying was "why can't i be myself? i can be really relyable..." what i told him was "it's fine to be yourself, it's just you're too close. i need my own breathing room. secondly don't talk about chazz like that you and i know both what he's going thought, it's not right so please drop it" more or less.. he go depressed.

i see passlion as my friend..sad to say since he's my ex who i really liked, but i don't think i'm gonna get back with him i have my life ahead of me. i want to enjoy it and not have something or someone pulling me back from one of my dreams. i mean on my 21st b'day i elither want to go to Los Vegas if not a sky diving course will be waiting for me.

i have 8 more days left here in san jose. its kinda ok that i'm spending my b-day away from home. but looking at it from another angle. i know i wouldn't be doing anything else if i was at home. and what passlion and midekai did for me was so great. and i know i have to enjoy everything and every joke more or less. hehe.

1/12/07 04:47 am - fears....

fears.. the main thing i'm worried about is my current mate chazz... he's losing his mother..she's going to pass soon.. i want to be there for him..i want to go up there to norcal.. but i don't want to leave him like that... and if i do when would i see him..what do i do? do i tell him that he should move on... should i tell him to stay with me.. i don't know right now... he's in school and everything

i have two choices to go with.. i can live with my best friend eric.. i kinda don't see that cause he has a nake to say things about the games i buy but when it comes to his wii it's perfect.. *rolls eyes* i think not.. sure the wii is a badass gaming platform but it's not for some people. with that said i'm moving on..

the second choice is me moving to north cal with midekai and passlion.. some would say it's kinda a bad idea to move with someone you'll knowing for the longest... but the fact of the matter what i'm worried about is after we get the place and all.. what then? i know i'm gonna be focused on my schooling. i know that. but still if i'm still with chazz i don't want passlion to get mad at me.. i don't want anything bad to happen.. that's all i'm saying.. i thought about this one the way home...so right now it's damn if i do damn if i don't

1/12/07 03:20 am - time at gameworks

today was a day i was mostly looking forward cause it was a furmeet and it was at one of my favortive places, gameworks. to start out the furmeet to the best of what i know/knew started around 7pm around the same time the deal for 10 bucks started. i fell asleep around 5:44 thinking i would wake up around 6:30 and would just get a ride. lol i totally over slept and wound up waking up around 7:49 looking around for cloths and stuff i made it out of the door and asked my roomate to give me a ride. after ten mins of talking to miles he finally did it and gave me a ride. only to stop at a store and buy him some soda and then back on the way to gameworks. anywho after i made it there. there was no sign what so every that their was ever a furmeet going on. i thought i missed them and all. i still think i do only reason was from the ddr machine the furry names i noticed where on there. anywho going on. i desided to stay till closing

on the way out i desided i need to think things thought about what i wanted... forgetting about everyone else cause i know i can't make others happy without being happy myself. i biked my way to my grandfathers house and stood outside softly talking to the wind asking him to help me come up with something... and how i'll be dang to spend my like in a box like room like they want. i came up with this.. i was planing on sitting down and talking with them.. being serious something most people/furs kinda don't see too much. anywho i was planing on giving my sister my check to help me save for the summer so i can move out..by then i'll have more then enough for that. knowing kc he would have a fit i know it. but i can't stay in this small ass room with out ac. no i refuse. then i would ask him to give me to the summer to let me stay. if the plans don't work out the way i want then i'll stay...(ha... right really) if they do i'll be sitting pretty. so for now i'm gonna cancel my plans to get a 360. i've desided to only buy things that are under the necessary amount that i need the car can wait till i'm in a better place. *sighs* if this doesn't work.. i'll see what i can do about asking my dad if i can stay with him..don't want too but still.

one the way back something messed up happened.. i got pulled over by a cop.. i don't know why...since i was in a bike.. doing everything right.. anywho he ask me question and i answered them and stuff, losing about 20 mins of travel time because of him, so i can say baka to that dude.

aside from that and being stood up at gameworks i had an ok day.

12/27/06 03:09 pm - some gifts for myself.

you know you had a bad holiday when you buy you're self something and it doesn't get here for another day and a half. lol

i brought myself three games for 23 bucks but with shiping and such it came up to 36 bucks. lol i wish it was an easier way not to pay so damn much for overnight shipping.

lol i know their not the best games lol xplay made them out to be very bad games. kinda. but still i wanna try them out if i don't like them i'll just sell them or something then slap myself for getting them in the first place. lol

these are the games being sent to me

Seven Samurai 20XX - Used 1 $9.99
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter - Used 1 $7.99
Unlimited Saga - Used 1 $5.99

so i'm gonna be playing a few new games also. I BEAT SHINING FORCE NEO! i'm a level 200 with mostly everything other then like 6 things

12/25/06 05:51 pm - hope you're holiday was better then mines..

reason why i say that is that it started out great but when i wanted to visit some family it began to go down hill. it began to rain, and so on and so forth
i know remember why holidays he me so feeling depressed,having a big family i was there for all of them when they needed me.. but yeah someone had to be forgotten. mnn aww well i guess.. i hope something good happens next year i really do, i hate feeling like this

9/18/06 02:30 pm - This is me...

Name:Corootai Hiro

Species:Bottlenose Dolphin
Gender: Male

Outward Appearance

Fur/Scale Colour:
grayish - purple > Lavander
Hair/Head Fur:
Silver with light purple highlights.
just like yuna he has mixmatch eyes. Purple while the other silver

Distinguishing Features

since coroo had been brainwashed he has a long scar that is almost on everypart of his body, with one large strake runing over his face,arms,chest,and leg

his basic look is like yuna from FFX

Mostly he'll why this long blue robe magic robe given to him by his grandfather when he arrives at atlantis for his traning and everything else.
when he finds the time to go out he loves to wear nomral loose fitting close to just relax with and or when he goes out like to a club he loves to wear tight fitting clothing. there were meny times where he was mistacking for a female. but that's like 80% of the time anyways.

he has a backpack on his back that has most of his stuff like a months worth of cookies,soda,and other foods
his handy laptop is also in there and he also have his mooncry staff,mooncry Bracelet to control the effect of the mooncry mindcontrol that the crystals hold.

Coroo has a only really three things to his weaponry. mooncry staff, magic, and a knife at the end of the mooncry staff

Personality & Background Info

Cookies,video games,helping out,nice people,going out on dates and taking in the night life

mean people,too less book work,and alot more i'll have to get back to you on that.anyone who gets in his way at the time when someone he really care for is getting hurt.

well how can i put it he like not what you think what would come from a dolphin he's really kind and caring he puts others before himself,and loves to know that he helped out and done good.

Time Summmoner he want to follow in the foot steps of his Grandfather: Ecco The Dolphin. forced into this type of work by his bloodline it was really soppoust to be his older brother nakio but saddly him and his parents were killed when arriving at atlantis. in fact coroo wants to go to school to learn how to become a as a massage thearpy and working on many fur to help out with there day and stuff

coroo is from a sea side city named Marina Bay. but after finding out about what was instore for him then after leaving his home. he left and when to his training ground at atlantis where he trained to become the best Time mage and summoner,he pushes himself to the limted to bring him family back to life.

Location: Unknown........

Additional Information: when coroo is really mad or just to afread to do anything something snaps inside of his making his eyes become pure silver. this is not good sign stay away from him,he'll take down the one who making him feel the pain and fear plus one other person if not anything.

And Just For Fun...

Favourite Quote *makes a gun with his paw and point it ahead then acts as he his about to shoot it* Even Good Guys Blow It! hmm*brings his paw back down to his side* (my favortive ending pose for sarah bryant from Virtua Fighter 4)

Homepage: http://www.furaffinity.net/users/keogisnake
My Blog: http://coroo-dolphin.livejournal.com/
Yahoo Contact: corootai_dolphin
AIM Contact: keogisnake

9/1/06 01:16 am

Find your Celestial Choir

hehe wow i didn't know that. hehe

9/1/06 12:38 am - making a simfile area of my own.

I'm making a my part of the site my best friend miles owns http://tails.kicks-ass.net he's letting me make my own area of his site with whatever i would like so i desided it'll be here mainly for the stepmania furs out there. i'm gonna be uploading all the themes i have along with the 2000 plus songs. plus i will be looking for other fur/people to help me out with this mainly with mixes if you have a mix and want it to be apart of this please email me at: corootai_dolphin (at)yahoo(dot)com

and if anyone could help me make simfiles that would be even greater

8/28/06 10:40 pm - Changes i've been going thourgh

after everything i've been thur i've changed

i'm not the same submiting kind of person that i was say 3 to 10 months ago.
i mean sure it's been some good to it but i lost so much people has always given me a cold shoulder no matter how helpful,sweet,kind,or just friendly. with all those kick downs i wonder to myself how can i keep my face or muzzle or whatever i have high to the sky hoping for the best for not just me but all my friends or just furs i know.. i'm the kind of person that puts friends and family before themself. but from what happened early this month i can't help but to feel sad. i am thankful i do have friends i can relay on in this world... so thanks you guys.

8/26/06 12:06 am - this is my first post in this new place.. hehe not really.

somethings needed to be cut loose.. to be free or rather a fresh look to things.

livejounal was on of the last my list to go thur the changes.
i knew if i did this i wouldn't have anyone i knew or anyone who i didn't want reading my page.


keogi snake.. who was he.. a fur i made up wishing i could be stong yet still have that kindness edge to myself thinking i could be like that but the truth is the fact that i was never like that. i have nothing that makes me differance to anyone. no one will care.. so i try and try to cope and deal with it so i said enough i'm done acting i'm done acting like have have something i'm not.

so i did something else. growing up i always was a fan of ecco the dolphin so i began to play all the games i knew of and then began to make a story and a character of my own that's kinda like ecco but it's mainly me. ecco reminds me alot of my grandfather who passed away while i was 8 years old or so. so if you reading a story i wrote and you see ecco i'm really talking about how much i miss my grandfather.
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