from the eyes of a time summoner

i thought things were starting to look up after the local fur party i went to.... oh no homo.. that was not the case. my week has been hell in every sense of the word from roomates talking behind my back to the point where i could guess along with them to the point i would be right half the time. to where i'm told by the guys, steele,shadow, and yote or will, or what ever the hell his name is. that.. basicly they didn't get a 5 bedroom they only got a 4 bedroom. there's no room but hey there's not all bad news. we're gonna still give you time to figure out what to do. and we'll back you no matter what, your a great person and a good roomate. T_T said the jerk who i never knew and only till now said something to me and always bitched to my roomates about stuff stuff... i hope everyone on baf sees this and see what it's making me have to do. i hope they all see what all of you are for what you really are. i want them to be driven out of the fandom...

basicly i... i have till the 13th of next month to have something to do. so i've been looking everywhere for a place, even before they told me this cause i had a feeling.. a voice spoke to me in the back of my head saying look for something just in case something like this happens. and what happens less then a day later.

what worse is i've been looking none stop for another place and to no avil.. so guess what i have to do. *insert cheesey dramatic music* i have to move back to florida and stay with my mother. it's the cheapest and saddly the best choice to do at this point. it's going to be tough but i'm blissed to have been around the norcal and the bellfurs and even the seattle furs. thanks so much for welcoming me. i hope we see each other in the future.

i'm planing to stay with my mother for about three months. if i need more time i'll boost it up to six months. anything more people worry. XD i mean really.

with this choice my only thing is should i fly or should just take the bus. please people give me choices
if your along the southern like texas, new mexico message me on my ims and i'll see about taking abit time to stop by. i'll need it as i won't be really active too much in the fandom... maybe depends if i have a ride or not. thank you all and laters

alright i think i've put this off for way to long. as you all can tell it's been ages since my last post. so putting all of that in a nutshell.

shit happened and i fell out with people that were in texas, i moved. moved back to sf bay area, stayed with boy friend for a few weeks, nabbed a place. then... well hehe let's just say great place, great price but because of a bible thumper lost it because apparently having sex and the tv kept her awake.... yeah um no... see i was having sex that night. so i got yelled at by alot of people and then i was like fuck it. i tried looking for another place, tried relaying on other people so we could rent a apartment together, but guess what!!! hahah it didn't work.*looks to the carpet shark who was suppose to do his part* i looked for another month before giving up taking another friend offer, i left,i went to seattle

meet alot of awesome people, but it didn't change the fact that was the worse time i've ever had in my life. basicly i covered everything, i was put in the hole about 3000 bucks beause i had to pawn alot of stuff along side of using my grant money on housing rather then going to school..... so yeah.. early septmber i left i couldn't take being lied to anymore, being used. so getting everything i pretty much owned and just left. i was already in talks with a close friend to let me rent from him.


so that's basicly the past six months or so


here's a small update of staying with my friend. mnn he's a great guy but him and his mate focus on the small things abit much. if i'm doing something small like making a glass of tea, or a nice lovely batch of mac and cheese, they'll get on my case for no reason really. it's not abit deal till it happeneds at lease three times a day. or when you go out of your way to help someone free of charge knowing you can't do a single lick of yardwork they still have the nerves to complain as if they paid you 300 bucks for a first rate kinda thing. then ack like "hey i'm no slave driver" T_T nomrally i chuckle at these remarks but it's the fact of the matter his timing was overly bad because moments earlier he was complaining about something yet again, rather small. so i answered him"hehe... if i didn't want to help i would've been home when you needed me, anywho i need a break"

mmnn side from the small bits of drama nothing much has been going on in the household if you can call it that. i stayed in my room and out of the way when arugements between my roomate and his mate tend to appear, it was kinda bad i think he fought with someone else cause apparently a few weeks back they took it outside and was yelling their lungs out before leaving <_< not my busseness but it's something i have to worry about be cause it's my safety at stake a side from that on a happy notice i'm going part time to school. yeah i know i kept saying "full time full time" but listen, i'm going part time online and part time offline. meaning full time. so basicly is 2-3 classes offline and 2 on. or something XD. but most of the other classes i wanted to take were filled so what's a fag to do? anywho now!!! your up to date. please expect to see a update at lease once or twice a week depending on what's going on. thanks everyone

drama seems to keep happen everywhere i go, it mess up friendships,nearly ending them and when you think you can take it anymore... someone pulls you back up and talk to you with a clam head,and the problem is sovled.

for me that seems to keep happening here in texas,over the past few weeks, maybe a month or so hell maybe more since i last replyed on here. tons of stuff happened that left me elither at the point of wanting to just drop it all and leave, or near that point...

so whenever i feel like that i take a step back and walk around the city, that way i see both side, the good and bad. i really can't leave now i'm in school, and i'm helping around the house. but since my friend moved in with me he has taken over that part. so i'm like alright if you want saves me a few nosebleed XD.

hehe so yeah, my family finally wants to me to come back to florida to visit them. while i want to i just don't know how my cash will be. hehe same goes for my friends in norcal. i totally want to be there for fc but i don't know if i'll have my bus/plane ticket, and the fee for the hotel and fc. heheh see my point.

looking back about three months or so when i first made it to texas. i noticed how things were sudden was looking up. i let my gaurd down and therfore i let two people in my life after i stayed with them use me.figuring we were all going to be roomates and it all was going to be good. i didn't see the harm in it. i broke free of that after one day it all made clam to me.i was so thankful that i was said i looked for a place, one was a wolf and the other was a fox. i thought i could depend on them but it really wasn't the case they tried to trick me into thinking everyone was being kicked out and we all needed to leave. playing along i called my contacts to see if i can get some funds to help cover myself in a friends place.with all the time that has past i seen the three freeloaders that were in this house leave, i've seen fights break out because things they said behind my back that came to surface when their friends asked me about this stuff.we even went on a hunt for the missing coins X_X feel but hot as hell. some of the time has been a drag but most of the time i'm having a blast.

with that in mind i got myself and them to the dallas area. i didn't know many furs at the time. but it soon started to change as i began getting more out going with friends like the ones i have i'm glad i get to hang out every weekend with them.

after seeing a few movies i feel like i want to go back to two places from my past. 1 being San Jose,ca. i miss my friends from there. i feel like we were like brothers *smiles* the second.... well... i'm still coming to terms with... see i was disowned rather you realize it or not. but over the past few months i have talked to my mother and my sister... it sucks to say i miss them? i miss my younger brother's and sister's and one older sister. that's the truth. but it was the fact of the matter because the rest of my close family didn't defend me.. i felt as if i couldn't stay anylonger.. i choose not to be a tool... that all i was to them so i left. i want to go back to Tampa to show them that i'm a failure, that i won't lay and die like they kept saying that night. no hehe i'm making sure they see for themselfs that i'm happy, i'm full of life and i'm willing to go on with my life. if they can take there eyes out of their tv's and what not. my goal is to visit my family before fc rolls back around. i know then i'll be able to spend more time with my friends cause it's around my birthday.

Hey all sorry for not posting. but boy do i have much to tell you

- Mid to Late January -
I found out i was losing my place in sacramento, i was totally bum,the night of the 18th, me and midekai began to pack my things into his car before making our trip back down to san jose, it was a fair wonderful ride with us talking and such, i had fun... but at the same time i was completely bummed i wasn't going to see the sacfurs again for a while. Fc 08' started right after that. we figured i would be staying with them at the hotel and it would be great right? well your mostly right but on my birthday was maybe the worse. seeing as i had to walk home late that night from the con. hehe see i turned down a ride (stupid me) from midekai when he was heading out, well i didn't know things wouldn't turn out the way i planed so i need up walking back to his place. nice walk alittle creepy but still hehe so happy 21st birthday to me while rad moose promised to get me the money for my part of rent as soon as he can, i didn't mind nor rush him.

- Febeuary -
we got to play tons of games and enjoy ourselfs, the responces for housing were fairly slow and was pretty damn annoying.... saddly going on. i told a friend what was going on as it happened he pretty much loss his job, while anywho me on my end i was getting my friend in trouble not like i ment to or anything.. it was just blah, rad was still working on getting me that check when something happened, when he finally had it they tired to place it into the account and it got placed into the wrong account, it went into the checking when it needed to go into savings, so that delayed me another month more or less... things were lookng bad, with turning anywhere i could for a place to stay i desided to take a friends offer, now i didn't have the money to pay for the ticket, with the month coming to the close we went to a few fur partys in san fran (awesome) a few things happened on the second one but yeah.. we all felt it, words were said that wasn't ment to come out and well we kinda drift from one another for that few sets of days after a week gone by i noticed a small change in one of my friend.. .and i didn't know what happened so i asked him about it and the responce really hurt me. getting past that i finally sigh and when he came over all three of us had a talk and cuddled in such.

- March -
march came with up opening ourselfs to what had to happened... i had to leave. i didn't want to but i had to go.feeling really bummed about this we spend the last we days if not week together trying to make the best of it, clibariting my birthday and his from last year. spending cash and such on IIDX 15 DJ troopers, but yeah... then finally that day came... i had a flight. and i had to go early that morning. that whole entire day went on to where i would feel uneasy as i rode that plane across the country, to finally when i got there i got to see snow in real life (yay) hehe i had my new roomates pick me up. we went out a few times the first week there was really neat i had alot of things that was neat but at the same time my roomates would act out from time to time, but i brushed it off, but when it started getting to me would've been at near the end of the month more or less we were all going to gameworks and i was looking so forward to playing my games and stuff. but because one of the roomates couldn't deside where to eat he had a little kid's fit it went on to him getting out of the car and walking off and such... just little kids stuff. i'm like dude? so what there is a rally(checkers) right there there is a subway right over there....that was when i just started not caring any more... i got so hurt from this outting i just went to my room i was really depressed i just said if they can't do anything for me then i guess i should lower my explation the month ended with a few other auguments and such before i just tried to get out of the way best i can i stayed downstairs away from them.

- April -
still feeling hurt for what they did i just tried my best to cope and move on when i did a few things happened then one day they something i was caught off guard for ...they throw me a part with cards and all they gave me two books a game a really sweet cake so i forgave them. but then a week alater a huge fight broke out and it really hurt to see them act the way they did. about three days later another fight happened and it was so big one of the roomates wanted to move out and pretty much made it seem like he was through a rather fit. it effected me so much cause i had to play peacekeeper running back and forth making sure that they both feel better from the others words, only to have more things happen and they yell back and forth at eacher... i thought to myself. if he leaves how would they treat me. i remember him always telling me he was sorry for bring me into this mess. yes i tuffed out those things for a friend. i was happy for abit but then the worry got to me and i desided i couldn't take that chance, later that month i told them what i thought... giving my 2 week notice that i would be moving out on the first and the latest being the 3rd of may, i didn't get that chance raven made a fool out of herself having a rather rather bitch fit. i could understand it but at the same time it was like no. only to find out about two days later they asked me to leave. i had my aunt on the phone telling me not to go but i truly didn't have a choice. because of that fat bitch. yeah saddly it's gotten to that point where i have to call her that to keep myself from screaming out wanting to do something extremely bad. reason why i called her that was the way she was treating it. the bitch kicked me out two days after i gave my notice. i still paid my rent and everything no. that shouldn't have happened. she had someone else do her dirty work she had a roomate i was pretty cool with come and tell me all of this. i should've thought of something when they asked for the spar. but no i didn't think nothing of it.
pretty much going on. as i was packing up after pulled this she was standing at the stairs kinda laughing about it and everything saying "i had to make a choice it was elither having someone that was going to be here next month or someone that wasn't. i had to choose. brute wouldn't come out of his room in fear he would run into you while my hubby is pacing around." i was really annoyed and tried my hardest not to hurt her. cause lord knows i would've punched a bitch. then that wasn't the worse. as i got my things out she came down stairs trying to rub facts i already know, and already planed and dealt with on me and i was like get out of my face bitch you don't want me to hurt you. she was giggling about it i even told her that please get away not isn't the time.luckly i had a few friends to help me out. one already planed on getting a place with and another from california that helped me out so so much to get away from there.can you believe that fat bitch called a cab ahead of time to get me out. and i was like wtf? not only that she kept saying because i didn't have proof that i paid rent the lawyor was going to be on her side. then i told her i would willingly call the cops then the bitch counter against that. i'm i wanted to kill the whole damn household... so going on after i got the money from that same friend that paid for my ticket to waco for the cab i willingly left. the ride to the greyhound station was a long and rather annoying one being that after i got there i had to move all my things on my own not getting anyhelp from a soul then what made it worse was i had to freaking wait on my money to pay for the ticket with. i got there at 11:20pm. they had me wait till about 7:20am when the bus i needed was loading.. .talk about pissed. i wanted to scream they held the bus cause they knew i needed it. finally after getting on that bus i tried my hardest to relax and indeed i did till about halfway on the trip when someone brought beer in a juice bottle on the bus and that shit spilled wasting all over me and a few other people with window seats. talk about pissed. then funny thing when i finally got to waco, my roomate forgot to pick me up. i had to bug my friend to im him to get him up and over here. about two hours later he finally makes it i felt relieved for once throughout the ordeal. pretty much from then on things looked up because we got off our asses that first day right when i got off the bus and looked for places, then on the second day we found our idea place. we appled for it and such. now all that was left was to return them and give the money and the depoit. from then on we relaxed and enjoyed ourselfs, mnn about a week into it the roomate i'm staying with told me he couldn't be as close as we were and it kinda hurt seeing as he was the only person i knew in texas other then this other person who is rarly on. yeah i did feel down about it. i picked myself up and acted as if nothing happen anywho we went to a game store and yay i got to play ddr for the first time in like four to five months :p finally. anywho that was about less then a week ago seeing as i got here on the 21st of this month

- may -
pretty much started yesterday and everything hasn't change much but yeah i'm making a effort to meet the local furs and whatnot. so guys look forward to a another update

hiya all guess what. My Birthday is this month... well at the end of it... lol a day after FC

anywho i've been doing tons of free artwork and have loved every minute of it. but i wanted to know just for this day. can others awesome and draw me something!

it can be anything from a drawing of corootai to items
i even take porn if your willing to draw it. any character will do. but it'll be nice to see my character done by another artist. i'm a huge fan of the Bemani series it'll be awesome to see coroo dancing and whatnot. or try airboarding with my favortive stage from the upcoming game. hehe if you wanna give me a heads up or keep it totally to youself till the day comes :p

item wishlist

Virtua Fighter 5 (360)
DDR Universe 2 Bundle (360)
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity (Ps2)


and above anything else *bows*
thank you. you really didn't have to read this. but you did...thanks it means alot to know that someone cares.

these are the things i'm kinda hoping for hehehe. Birthday wishlist - 1/29

hey everyone. happy belated new year and stuff.

it's been a while since i posted in here so i'll catch you up to speed.my time in sacramento is going well. but at the same time i'm having throughts of going away... i don't want to but it's the fact it's taking such a bite out of my pocket that i'm spending money,food money in such is very little more or less. so yeah.. i can't bring myself to tell my roomate that it's a chance that i may move..after all he helped so much getting into a place and whatnot.

i'm just worried if i do it'll mess him up.. and i can't do that to him.
i'm roughing out what i can. i've been getting offers from old friends and fur firends all the time to come down or something along those lines. i just don't wanna seem as if i'm messing someone else up that's having just as a hard time. but yeah....

chrismas well that was pretty neat. i got to go skydiving and a small shoping spree

now while all these were awesome and good. i didn't need the emotional baggage my good friend passlion placed on me at the time. i know he may not have ment to. but still..he would talk about the past and those really bad memories would begin to hit me over and over. and i broke down... it got to the point where i wanted to walk myself back to sacramento.funny thing was the thing that lead up to this was him wanting to cuddle... i didn't want to cuddle with him cause looking back in the past at how he would breakdown from it... then he went on about the past.. that's the reason why i wanted to leave.. but no i didn't... i stayed for him. i stayed because that would look good.
it almost happened again but he gave a speach that kinda sounded like he planed for it to happen. i was kinda effected the same. i was like what... i had to take two about what he was talking about how "we wanted us to grow,teach, and lean from each other" i was like.. but i don't think that even now will work. i knew where he was coming from but i didn't stop him from making his point. but hehe yeah that's my christmas.

new years. i was looking forward to being with friends. but that didn't really happen from the lack of having a ride i couldn't make it to and cool partys aww well i lease i was playing portal. :p

so yeah that's me lately

all these feeling really came from no where but my worse time up here was this storm that going on as we speak the worse was yesterday and there's another coming this afternoon and what not. pretty much i'm stuck sitting through this storm till like later next week.

mnn early this month pretty much i want to scream louder then ever.... not only did i have to leave nor cal but it's the fact of the matter that most of the people who i left for really wasn't worth it. to sum it up in the az area. i left to be with a family friend who said they'll help me... they flaked... the person i was going to do.. his mother called the cops on me... the feeling of being lied to is really hurtful. good thing i didn't know at the time he was 17 cause i wasn't told that.. but still... with all those things to deal with i took everything out of my savings and checking account to get myself to san diego, their i had a few more friends help me out. i'm really thankful to them..kips, sam all those guys really helped out...lonely did also..but it's the fact of the matter were dating.. and i just wished he showed me more attention and stuff... but in the end that's how he lost me. i really haven't told him yet but yeah. i'm gonna tell him elither tomorrow night or abit later, moving on.

then a few weeks back when i finally made it back to san jose i was so glad.. but it shortly lived seeing as we left for this covention with this group midekai works with. the ride on it's one to salt lake city was 15 hours, with that in mind we still had to deal with the co workers and the higher ups, it just got very anoyying to me. once we were there we ended up having to wake up two to three hours early just for a annoying meeting not only that it was the fact of the matter that everyone there other then a few other guys were really cool... all in all it got so bad there that it made me and midekai debate on going to the greyhound station and getting a ride back, so all in all i head an so so time. i learned alot of things for the classes themselfs but from the other higher up and stuff i just thought they could do better.

well that was like two to three days ago. so anywho finally things has began getting back to normal.. when we seen our friend v-mon get back. well guess what. we went to golfland, then the local college to see if we could sign up. on the way leaving we gotten into a car acddient seeing the fact we rear ended a suv... alot of stuff hsppened... on top of that i lost the place were i was staying because of it.. not only that someone i was planing on moving with lost theirs... so it's kinda in the air rather or not i can go with them.. or have them move much closer so we wouldn't have to travel much.

anyways that's been the over view of this whole freaken month, enjoy everyone

today started out ok... but it's the fact of the matter the thing that made things go downhill was the fact that i was talking with passlion.. anywho we talked about the past and how he thought i wasn't trying hard enough... and that i should forget about the past more or less.. i wanted to scream...hehe it got to the point were i barfed... i mean it was really bad... going on i'm trying to relax i came clean with most of my feeling like how i wasn't going to try again but i had to take a long think about it and so i had to give him another chance.. but it's the fact of the matter it doesn't feel right i get sick too much dealing with him.. i couldn't breath my chest tends to tighten... nothing good so i told him i rather have us be friends.. so he broke down and start crying.. i did what i could to help him out but in the end it just made me want to scream cause no matter how i wanted to be heard... he doesn't get the picture >.<

i may have to scream it out at one point... he's like i don't want it going in a loop like it did before... at that point i wanted to say.. just stop thinking of the bad things.. know what ... i shouldn't have said i was ready to try again.. its the fact of the matter you're too close.. and it's like with acting out.. how it made me feel no.. but you know what.. i didn't cause he needed help on getting better... i wanted to tell him.. that in life... we always can't have the dreams we want.. no matter how much we dream them.. and that we'll always end up hurtting ourselfs if we open ourselfs to something like that... and that it's not worth it if we please everyone.. we'll end up being unhappy with ourselfs...

i know most likely he's going to read this.. i know most likely it's going to hurt him more.. and i'm sorry but in the end...

well with less then a week left from leaving i've been thinking of a few things. i've been looking around wanting to meet new people to set myself up to have my own group of friends other then passlion and midekai. all in all it's going pretty well but at lease two of my friends kept telling me that i need to slow things down. i agreed with them. i already slowed things down mnn all in all hehe yeah..i'm doing so so.. i ended up breaking up with chazz.. things seemed to go down hill.. it kinda made me feel like a less of a person.. but i don't blame chazz.. i'm sure he didn't make things seem bad.. but all in all i'm just sick of being hurt..more or less.. i'm wishing that things get so much better when i go up there. i head out this saturday.. anywho i'm gonna work on myself before trying even think of getting a new mate. i'm sorry but it's just i've been hurt too much.. hehe and it seems like no one cares for this dolphie. but it's fine. hehe i'm just not really for it i guess.. fate must have something out and planed..hehe one can only be hopeful.

all in all i have done all i can but there is still one thing that i have yet to do, cause i know for a fact they'll try talking me out of it. but with a deal like this you better believe i'm taking right, going on.. it's for me to be happy my family all in all would use one another, i guess i'll tell them when i give my ps2 to my little brother, i know he'll be happy about that. i'll make sure we'll keep it in touch i guess eheh all in all everything is set all i need to do is play my plan out before i know it i'll be living happily in nor california.

after seeing the choices i had out of me i made a nice little twist to myself, rather staying down here in florida with family and even friends that tends to bring drama with them,note i'm not calling you out but! i'm sick of it... and if i have to take myself out of you all's life i will do so but not how you're thinking, i desided to move out of florida to northern california.

yeah you heard me i'm taking my gay ass to an area of the world that i don't get talked about for the way i talk or act... does that even matter? hehe... i guess it does to the people of the south... i will say this.. i will miss the friends i leave behind.. but in the end i have to be strong for myself...cause if i don't then who will??

more or less because i wanted to help someone and wanted to feel abit more free i'm losing the place i'm staying. it's fine seeing the fact i seen this coming since fc.... funny... looking back now.. now i know why i seem so spacey when i should've been having fun..

going on getting annoyed with the whole roomate things how i helped out my so called friend seeing he didn't defend me after all that shit that happened how i was the only one who was willing to help but no. i don't care right now.. i planed this ahead i'm gonna land fine from this.i already planed on leaving over to my sister's place.

among things after this blows over i gonna work on making my own life better i found a progam that starts me where i left off before leaving for califonia and with that i could get on with my life. also i do intend on doing a few things so heh no worries..

finally i've had abit of time on my hands to get out of my damn house. hehe their cool and all but i really dislike staying inside for like a while. but they know how i feel. the only reason i haven't gone anywhere was the fact with me having no cash what so ever on me.mnn me myself i wanted to go to beach gameland it's a rather small arcade but it has the cheapest ddr supernova for like 30 miles lol. anywho plus it also has the second closest beatmania game to me. the closest is at tampa lanes.

so lol so right now i've been spending time with some friends i'm over here in lutz right now. i plan on heading back home like today

don't you guys think so? anywho sorry i haven't updated in a while. here's a nice minute to catch you guys up. vanlintes day, all in all it went very nice. went out to eat i hanged out and went to the movies and then it had to end around 9pm that's when i left.before that one of my bestest friends...well i don't know if we're that close to call him that anymore... i would just say my friend for now. he's like a brother.. but at times he could be rather... what's the word... difficult.

i got over how he treated my disabled little brother.. it got me so mad i wanted to hurt him.. but at the same time. i stopped myself and pulled him back. going on. this year started out ok we got to hang out with one another.. then he wanted to come back to tampa. and i was like that's awesome. but then he wanted to get a apartment with me.

i thought it would be cool. what i didn't see well rather i didn't add up everything.but when i did i had to say no. cause within the first 3 months we would lose the place.. and i wouldn't want to turn and elither go back to my mom.. that .. or stay on anyone.. i don't want to be that kind of burden. so when i finally got back to town i talked to kc about the space i had and if it was anything he and everyone else could do to help me. they did last weekend.

i have this huge ass room and i'm happy for it. i'm gonna sign the lease to be added. i pay my share of things and such.anywho a day or so later my friend told me that his parents wanted him out this firday. and i'm like ah.. carp.. and so i offer for him to stay here. i don't have any problems with it cause i know he would do the same for me. well so far things are kinda rocky. things are good at times.

i'm happy he's here and all. but at other times i would see why we wouldn't see each maybe once or twice a week. he tend to have a habit to.. well be an ass to one of the main person who is trying to help him. i mean he shots down what style of drawing,my games and system choices, and it sometimes get to him. i would want to yell "Fuck off will you, i mean dude i'm trying to help you but you're doing this to me. damn be nicer" is that so much to ask for".. with that said. i plan on talking with him about a few things when i have the chance and when i'm in a good mood.. i don't want this to blow up in my face... that'll happen if i'm pissed off at the moment... my bitch side will come out and i wouldn't want to hurt anyone now would i? i mean he something becomes a bit of an ass on the smallest of things. sure the ps3 sucks and all. but damn stop acting like the wii can sure cancer. i'm not trying to be mean or anything cause my man's mother is dieing of that. do knock on wood. i really didn't mean to hurt anyone. but it seems that if i don't anything like this or become a bitch every now and then. nothing will change.. am i wrong?

so to push away my anger at the world and how i feel i somethings get the short end of the stick i began to play stepmania. while he was playing sonic and the secret rings. sure a good game. i just don't like people or furs trying to tell me what to do. i'll listen but if i'm not in the mood i would just tell them not now. and my friend over there is the kind of person to keep annoying you till you listen. i hope this was the right choice helping him out.... i believe it is.. even at the cost of my own happyness and time along where i can regain sanity from my room mates

by fair i can say that this year was a hell of a lot better then the last two years. i'm finally 20 years old. i'm really happy hehe. anywho early tommorrow morning i will be on a plane to get back to tampa and will be back later that afternoon. around 5pm i guess. i'll tell you have it was when i'm back. see ya for now.

looking how at everything has gone thought my past and what things await me.
what some people don't get. is the fact that if i'm already with someone that i really miss and i do something like say. be with my ex and talk and even play with him. more or less. i do these things i guess to fill the hole he left. when we're not near each other. these are the things i lack to tell midekai or passlion. but going. i could have talked to them i know but i'm like what's the use. passlion is still trying to get me back in love with him. what he lacks to see is the fact that i'm still in a relationship. so with him being so close. had an effect on me. i became distant because i felt like shit for what i did. i felt like i betrayed chazz and such. i'm not trying mess up this good relationship i what with him. all i can be for passlion is a friend.there was a time where i still loved him. but it kinda went down to friendship. that's the best way i could put it. but still it's better then me saying "hey know what" shoots bird and walks away letting that be the end of us talking in such.

so yeah how i look at it i have to put my love first before my friend ship. nothing more nothing less. passlion is my past.. i can't get over of but he's known me well enough so that way it'll be good to have him as my friend. chazz is my present. sure he's going though his own sets of problems but still who doesn't. i was torn because i was given all this cool stuff from passlion.it's like he was trying something. but i didn't mind it i said thank you. but why did he buy me all that stuff. i feel like i want to hide somewhere after i post this

odds are passy will be reading this... so all i can say is sorry but it's true i wrote this. no only that but i'm sorry about what i wrote on those days. i did it to make you feel better not only that but you too what i ment wrong when i said it looks like we'll be back together i ment our time at fc not what you were thinking.

my time at fc has been rather better then i plan. i had fun more times then i feel felt down.alot of artists liked my work so i'm really happy about that. hehe anywho the only down part about my time. my time with passlion was ok i mean it wasn't bad at all it's just.... (passlion was to close to me.. i wanted a best friend not a lion actting like a dog following me closely) i talked to him later during the con.. it got him rather down and all he kept saying was "why can't i be myself? i can be really relyable..." what i told him was "it's fine to be yourself, it's just you're too close. i need my own breathing room. secondly don't talk about chazz like that you and i know both what he's going thought, it's not right so please drop it" more or less.. he go depressed.

i see passlion as my friend..sad to say since he's my ex who i really liked, but i don't think i'm gonna get back with him i have my life ahead of me. i want to enjoy it and not have something or someone pulling me back from one of my dreams. i mean on my 21st b'day i elither want to go to Los Vegas if not a sky diving course will be waiting for me.

i have 8 more days left here in san jose. its kinda ok that i'm spending my b-day away from home. but looking at it from another angle. i know i wouldn't be doing anything else if i was at home. and what passlion and midekai did for me was so great. and i know i have to enjoy everything and every joke more or less. hehe.

fears.. the main thing i'm worried about is my current mate chazz... he's losing his mother..she's going to pass soon.. i want to be there for him..i want to go up there to norcal.. but i don't want to leave him like that... and if i do when would i see him..what do i do? do i tell him that he should move on... should i tell him to stay with me.. i don't know right now... he's in school and everything

i have two choices to go with.. i can live with my best friend eric.. i kinda don't see that cause he has a nake to say things about the games i buy but when it comes to his wii it's perfect.. *rolls eyes* i think not.. sure the wii is a badass gaming platform but it's not for some people. with that said i'm moving on..

the second choice is me moving to north cal with midekai and passlion.. some would say it's kinda a bad idea to move with someone you'll knowing for the longest... but the fact of the matter what i'm worried about is after we get the place and all.. what then? i know i'm gonna be focused on my schooling. i know that. but still if i'm still with chazz i don't want passlion to get mad at me.. i don't want anything bad to happen.. that's all i'm saying.. i thought about this one the way home...so right now it's damn if i do damn if i don't

today was a day i was mostly looking forward cause it was a furmeet and it was at one of my favortive places, gameworks. to start out the furmeet to the best of what i know/knew started around 7pm around the same time the deal for 10 bucks started. i fell asleep around 5:44 thinking i would wake up around 6:30 and would just get a ride. lol i totally over slept and wound up waking up around 7:49 looking around for cloths and stuff i made it out of the door and asked my roomate to give me a ride. after ten mins of talking to miles he finally did it and gave me a ride. only to stop at a store and buy him some soda and then back on the way to gameworks. anywho after i made it there. there was no sign what so every that their was ever a furmeet going on. i thought i missed them and all. i still think i do only reason was from the ddr machine the furry names i noticed where on there. anywho going on. i desided to stay till closing

on the way out i desided i need to think things thought about what i wanted... forgetting about everyone else cause i know i can't make others happy without being happy myself. i biked my way to my grandfathers house and stood outside softly talking to the wind asking him to help me come up with something... and how i'll be dang to spend my like in a box like room like they want. i came up with this.. i was planing on sitting down and talking with them.. being serious something most people/furs kinda don't see too much. anywho i was planing on giving my sister my check to help me save for the summer so i can move out..by then i'll have more then enough for that. knowing kc he would have a fit i know it. but i can't stay in this small ass room with out ac. no i refuse. then i would ask him to give me to the summer to let me stay. if the plans don't work out the way i want then i'll stay...(ha... right really) if they do i'll be sitting pretty. so for now i'm gonna cancel my plans to get a 360. i've desided to only buy things that are under the necessary amount that i need the car can wait till i'm in a better place. *sighs* if this doesn't work.. i'll see what i can do about asking my dad if i can stay with him..don't want too but still.

one the way back something messed up happened.. i got pulled over by a cop.. i don't know why...since i was in a bike.. doing everything right.. anywho he ask me question and i answered them and stuff, losing about 20 mins of travel time because of him, so i can say baka to that dude.

aside from that and being stood up at gameworks i had an ok day.

you know you had a bad holiday when you buy you're self something and it doesn't get here for another day and a half. lol

i brought myself three games for 23 bucks but with shiping and such it came up to 36 bucks. lol i wish it was an easier way not to pay so damn much for overnight shipping.

lol i know their not the best games lol xplay made them out to be very bad games. kinda. but still i wanna try them out if i don't like them i'll just sell them or something then slap myself for getting them in the first place. lol

these are the games being sent to me

Seven Samurai 20XX - Used 1 $9.99
Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter - Used 1 $7.99
Unlimited Saga - Used 1 $5.99

so i'm gonna be playing a few new games also. I BEAT SHINING FORCE NEO! i'm a level 200 with mostly everything other then like 6 things

reason why i say that is that it started out great but when i wanted to visit some family it began to go down hill. it began to rain, and so on and so forth
i know remember why holidays he me so feeling depressed,having a big family i was there for all of them when they needed me.. but yeah someone had to be forgotten. mnn aww well i guess.. i hope something good happens next year i really do, i hate feeling like this

Name:Corootai Hiro

Species:Bottlenose Dolphin
Gender: Male
Age:19
Height:"5'8
Weight:207

Outward Appearance

Fur/Scale Colour:
grayish - purple > Lavander
Hair/Head Fur:
Silver with light purple highlights.
Eyes:
just like yuna he has mixmatch eyes. Purple while the other silver

Distinguishing Features

since coroo had been brainwashed he has a long scar that is almost on everypart of his body, with one large strake runing over his face,arms,chest,and leg

his basic look is like yuna from FFX

Clothing:
Mostly he'll why this long blue robe magic robe given to him by his grandfather when he arrives at atlantis for his traning and everything else.
when he finds the time to go out he loves to wear nomral loose fitting close to just relax with and or when he goes out like to a club he loves to wear tight fitting clothing. there were meny times where he was mistacking for a female. but that's like 80% of the time anyways.

Accessories:
he has a backpack on his back that has most of his stuff like a months worth of cookies,soda,and other foods
his handy laptop is also in there and he also have his mooncry staff,mooncry Bracelet to control the effect of the mooncry mindcontrol that the crystals hold.

Weaponry:
Coroo has a only really three things to his weaponry. mooncry staff, magic, and a knife at the end of the mooncry staff

Personality & Background Info

Likes:
Cookies,video games,helping out,nice people,going out on dates and taking in the night life

Dislikes:
mean people,too less book work,and alot more i'll have to get back to you on that.anyone who gets in his way at the time when someone he really care for is getting hurt.

Personality:
well how can i put it he like not what you think what would come from a dolphin he's really kind and caring he puts others before himself,and loves to know that he helped out and done good.

Occupation:
Time Summmoner he want to follow in the foot steps of his Grandfather: Ecco The Dolphin. forced into this type of work by his bloodline it was really soppoust to be his older brother nakio but saddly him and his parents were killed when arriving at atlantis. in fact coroo wants to go to school to learn how to become a as a massage thearpy and working on many fur to help out with there day and stuff

Background:
coroo is from a sea side city named Marina Bay. but after finding out about what was instore for him then after leaving his home. he left and when to his training ground at atlantis where he trained to become the best Time mage and summoner,he pushes himself to the limted to bring him family back to life.

Location: Unknown........

Additional Information: when coroo is really mad or just to afread to do anything something snaps inside of his making his eyes become pure silver. this is not good sign stay away from him,he'll take down the one who making him feel the pain and fear plus one other person if not anything.

And Just For Fun...

Favourite Quote *makes a gun with his paw and point it ahead then acts as he his about to shoot it* Even Good Guys Blow It! hmm*brings his paw back down to his side* (my favortive ending pose for sarah bryant from Virtua Fighter 4)

Homepage: http://www.furaffinity.net/users/keogisnake
My Blog: http://coroo-dolphin.livejournal.com/
Yahoo Contact: corootai_dolphin
AIM Contact: keogisnake

Find your Celestial Choir

hehe wow i didn't know that. hehe

I'm making a my part of the site my best friend miles owns http://tails.kicks-ass.net he's letting me make my own area of his site with whatever i would like so i desided it'll be here mainly for the stepmania furs out there. i'm gonna be uploading all the themes i have along with the 2000 plus songs. plus i will be looking for other fur/people to help me out with this mainly with mixes if you have a mix and want it to be apart of this please email me at: corootai_dolphin (at)yahoo(dot)com

and if anyone could help me make simfiles that would be even greater

after everything i've been thur i've changed

i'm not the same submiting kind of person that i was say 3 to 10 months ago.
i mean sure it's been some good to it but i lost so much people has always given me a cold shoulder no matter how helpful,sweet,kind,or just friendly. with all those kick downs i wonder to myself how can i keep my face or muzzle or whatever i have high to the sky hoping for the best for not just me but all my friends or just furs i know.. i'm the kind of person that puts friends and family before themself. but from what happened early this month i can't help but to feel sad. i am thankful i do have friends i can relay on in this world... so thanks you guys.

somethings needed to be cut loose.. to be free or rather a fresh look to things.

livejounal was on of the last my list to go thur the changes.
i knew if i did this i wouldn't have anyone i knew or anyone who i didn't want reading my page.

hm..

keogi snake.. who was he.. a fur i made up wishing i could be stong yet still have that kindness edge to myself thinking i could be like that but the truth is the fact that i was never like that. i have nothing that makes me differance to anyone. no one will care.. so i try and try to cope and deal with it so i said enough i'm done acting i'm done acting like have have something i'm not.

so i did something else. growing up i always was a fan of ecco the dolphin so i began to play all the games i knew of and then began to make a story and a character of my own that's kinda like ecco but it's mainly me. ecco reminds me alot of my grandfather who passed away while i was 8 years old or so. so if you reading a story i wrote and you see ecco i'm really talking about how much i miss my grandfather.